


checkmate (so this is winning?)

by applesauce6



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra has been through it, Delusions, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), One Shot, Poor Catra (She-Ra), lol sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29278350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applesauce6/pseuds/applesauce6
Summary: Season 1 Episode 13 - The Battle of Brightmoon. Everyone knows this episode it was the finale of the first season of this beloved show. It ends with Adora and the Princess Alliance driving out of the Horde and saving the day! Yay! But- what if that wasn't the case? What if the Horde won? What if the Princess Alliance lost? What if Catra killed her best friend for victory and our favorite dumb jock was gone? Catra always wanted to win, but if killing Adora was part of it, do you think she would have liked winning?CW: murder, gore, and suicide!
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 36





	checkmate (so this is winning?)

**Author's Note:**

> CW: murder, gore, and suicide! 

**CW: murder, gore, and suicide!**

_ Blood dripped down from Catra’s claws. Adora’s blood. She looked down at the fallen warrior, her hands trembled. There’s no way she did that, did she? The brunette looked around Brightmoon, the battle field. Screams of agony echoed in her ears, causing them to twitch. She looked up at the Moonstone, it was all dark and shattered. They fulfilled their mission. Catra looked down at Adora corpse, lying on the ground. Not moving at all.  _

_ But at what cost? _

_ “Catra!” A voice shouted from behind her. The magicat didn’t care to turn her head in the direction of the voice. Her eyes were too fixed on She-Ra’s- no, Adora’s beated figure. Blood was splattered all over her body, there were deep claw marks that were bleeding excessively and bruises across her back, face, legs, arms. Everywhere really. And who caused those? Catra herself. _

_ The brunette’s hands started to shake, “I didn’t do this… This is all a dream. I didn’t do it!” _

_ “Catra!” The voice shouted again. _

_ The girl whispered to herself and kneeled on the ground before Adora’s body, “This is all a dream. Make it stop… Just wake me up. It hurts too much…” she shut her eyes and covered her ears, “Just wake me up already!” _

_ “Catra!”  _

  
  
  


“Catra!” 

The girl awoken from her slumber with a scream and looked to the right of her bed. A tall, broad woman with a short platinum undercut was standing over her, “S-Scorpia…?”

Scorpia smiled, “That’s me alright,” she watched as Catra buried her face in her hands, “Are you alright? You were screaming in your sleep. You told me to wake you up?”

Sighing, Catra nodded, “I don’t know… The dream I was having felt like it went on forever,” she brought her fingers up to her eyes. Was she… crying in her sleep? The girl quickly wiped the tears, she knew if Scorpia saw them she would make a fuss over it.

“A dream?” Scorpia gasped, “I  _ love _ dreams. Tell me about it! Maybe I could tell you the dream I had last night. Basically I-”

Catra raised her hand up, motioning Scorpia to shut up, “My dream… we were going out with Entrapta’s plan to destroy the Moonstone. And we did. But in the process…” she looked down at her hands, she could still feel and imagine Adora’s warm blood on it, “I…  _ killed _ Adora.”

Putting her hands on her hips, Scorpia laughed, “What are you talking about Wildcat?” Catra looked up at Scorpia who was towering over her, “That wasn’t  _ just _ a dream. That  _ happened _ . Not too long ago too. Maybe like uh… 4 hours ago?” 

The brunette felt her heart tighten and she clasped her hand over her mouth, “Th-that… happened?” She managed to choke out. 

“Yep!” Scorpia said cheerfully, “Our army managed to destroy the Moonstone, making Etheria imbalanced. And, best of all, She-Ra is finally gone!” She patted Catra on the back, “And that’s all because of  _ you _ .” 

She felt sick. Catra felt like she wanted to throw up. That was real? She killed… Adora? “Get out,” she muttered to Scorpia.

Scorpia leaned closer to Catra, “What was that Wildcat?” 

Feeling a whirlwind of emotions she couldn’t understand, Catra grit her teeth and pointed to the door of her room, “I said get out!” She roared. Hanging her head, Scorpia trudged out of her room and once the door shut, Catra buried her face in her hands again and sobbed to herself. 

“This is just a dream…” she repeated. 

  
  
  


_ Smirking at the golden warrior, Catra put her hands on her hips, “Hey Adora.” _

_ Adora furrowed her eyebrows, “Catra… surprised to see me?” _

_ Cackling, Catra shook her head, “Not really. I figured it wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of you,” Adora ran up to her and smashed the tank that Catra was standing on, but the magicat was too quick for her and avoided the attack by backflipping on a rock, “Y’know I’m actually glad you made it out of there alive.” _

_ The girl looked up at Catra in surprise. Was Catra glad to see her? Sharpening her claws, Catra grit her teeth and maliciously grinned, “Because now I can take you out myself!” _

  
  
  


Walking mindlessly through the Fright Zone’s corridors, Catra stared at the ground, still in disbelief that she killed Adora. Yes, Adora was her enemy. But killing her…? That was just out of pocket, how did she…? How  _ could _ she? She lov-

Just then as she turned the corner, Catra rammed into another person. Already in a shitty mood, Catra growled, “What the fuck?! Watch where you’re going!” The girl looked in front of her and saw Entrapta rubbing her head. Rolling her eyes, Catra scoffed, “Watch where you’re going next time Entrapta.” 

The purple-haired girl gasped when she saw Catra, “Oh Catra! Good timing! Hordak was just telling me to get you. He wants to talk to you in private! So I think you should go to his sanctum,” she squealed, “I can’t get over the fact that he calls his lab a  _ sanctum _ .” 

_ Fuck, seriously?  _ Catra thought to herself,  _ I’m already having a shitty day because I’m confused about everything that happened. And now I have to talk to Hordak? Fuck just kill me already.  _ Sighing, Catra walked past Entrapta towards Hordak’s sanctum, “Yeah whatever.”

Silently, Catra walked through the corridors and opened the door of Hordak’s sanctum, “Lord Hordak, you wanted to see me?” She looked up and saw the ruler of the Horde sitting on his throne. She bowed before his presence.

“Ah yes…” Hordak said in his usual groggy tone, “Force Captain Catra. I wanted to congratulate you on your recent victory during the Battle of Brightmoon. You have served the Horde well,” Catra kept her head low and just listened to what her superior had to say, “Not only did you destroy the Moonstone, but you have finally put an end to that menace, She-Ra.”

Her throat tightened up to the mention of Adora, “Th-thank you Lord Hordak,” she muttered.

Hordak nodded, “You have done well,” he stood up from his throne, “You are dismissed. I will call you back to my sanctum once Entrapta and I figure out our next battle plan.” 

Getting up from the ground, Catra muttered, “Yes Lord Hordak,” she then proceeded to walk out of the sanctum. Her eyes stung from trying to hold back tears. 

  
  
  


_ Breathing heavily, Catra looked down at her claws which were coated by blood as if it were caramel over an apple. She stared at them, entranced by the vivid color on her skin. The girl looked at Adora who reverted from her She-Ra form, too weak to keep it.  _

_ Catra laughed maniacally, “S-see that? I beat you! I’m strong too! I’m stronger than you! I proved them wrong! I proved all of them wrong! Shadow Weaver… Hordak… “ She watched as Adora groaned and stirred where she laid. The brunette cackled and then frowned when she saw Adora staring at her, “What? Are you going to say something or what?” _

_ The girl closed her eyes and didn’t answer. _

_ Scoffing, Catra kicked Adora’s already bleeding side, “Answer me!”  _

_ Again, Adora didn’t answer. _

_ Bewildered, Catra kneeled down by Adora’s side and heard the girl’s breath become irregular. She placed her ear on the blonde’s chest to try to listen to the heartbeat. Like the breathing, Adora’s heartbeat wasn’t stable. “W-wait…” Catra mumbled, her eyes widened in shock. What has she done? “A-Adora…? Adora! Open your eyes! Stay awake!” _

_ Weakly, Adora opened her eyes and looked into Catra’s mismatched ones, “C-Catra…?”  _

_ “Stay awake okay? I’ll try to help you!” Catra then tried to put pressure on the wounds she inflicted on Adora, but she already had done too much damage, “Please work dammit!” She yelled at herself. The girl looked over at Adora who’s eyes were slowly closing again, “Don’t you dare close them Adora! Keep them open!” _

_ Adora groaned, “Why…? I’m so tired. It hurts… it hurts too much,” she whispered. _

_ Now Catra was desperate, she looked over at the Moonstone which was barely glowing anymore and pointed at it, “L-look! The runestone! It’s fading! Aren’t you going to wake up and drive the Horde out? Aren’t you going to wake up and save people? You’re a hero aren’t you dammit?!” _

_ The blonde looked at the Moonstone, “I can’t… it’s too late. I’ve failed.” _

_ “No, no, no!” Catra said, holding Adora close to her, wincing whenever she heard an explosion, “You have to wake up! You have to wake up and save everyone! You’re the good guy and I’m the bad guy! Aren’t you going to fight me and save everyone?” _

_ Placing a hand on top of Catra’s, Adora softly smiled, “Oh Catra… You aren’t a bad person, you’ve done bad things… but I never considered you my enemy… you’re still my best friend, you’ve just lost your way a little bit…”  _

_ Tears welled up in Catra’s eyes and she sniffled. What has she done? “Please, just stand up and fight me! They need you! I… I need you!” Adora looked sadly at her and caressed her hand. Gritting her teeth, Catra sobbed out in distress, “Don’t you get it I love you! I always have! So please just this once… stay!”  _

_ Slowly sitting up in Catra’s arms, Adora tenderly smiled at her, “You… you love me?”  _

_ “You’re such an idiot,” Catra said, wiping a tear away and smiling back. _

_ “I love you too…” Adora whispered. Catra’s eyes widened in surprise and she leaned in. Their lips brushed and met briefly, but then… Adora went limp. Catra opened her eyes and saw Adora, dead in her arms. The girl looked into Adora’s lifeless eyes and saw her own beaten reflection in it. Catra stared at herself through the pair of cold eyes, her brunette mane was all filthy and her body was stained with crimson red blood.  _

_ Adora’s blood.  _

  
  
  


There was a knock on Catra’s door and Scorpia came in, “Hey Wildcat!” The girl saw Catra looking through documents on her bed, “Are you doing okay?” 

The brunette looked up at Scorpia and raised and eyebrow, “What kind of stupid question is that?” Catra rolled her eyes and continued looking at paperwork, “Of course I’m doing fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She replied, her voice cracking a bit. 

“Oh…” Scorpia rubbed the back of her neck nervously, “It’s just… you seemed pretty upset when I told you that you killed Ado-”

Catra looked up at her and glared into her eyes so Scorpia could shut up. She cackled, “Adora was our  _ enemy _ ,” Catra clenched her hand and grinned sourly, “I killed her.  _ I’m _ the victor. We are  _ winning _ . Therefore I’m  _ happy _ . What’s not to understand about that?”

Nodding her head, Scorpia chuckled awkwardly, “R-right. My bad.”

Getting out of bed, Catra looked at Scorpia who was staring at her, “Oh, you’re still here. What are you doing here anyways?”

Scorpia laughed, “I just wanted to hang out with you Wildcat! Y’know like what we used to do?”

“Hard pass,” Catra said coldly, “Don’t you see I’m busy? She-Ra is gone and now is the perfect time to bring down the Rebellion for good,” she looked up at Scorpia who was still standing in front of her, “Out of my way,” she growled before she walked out of her bedroom, leaving Scorpia behind.

The girl walked over to the locker room which was thankfully empty, since all of the cadets were busy training. Catra walked up to the sink, took off her mask, and splashed cold water on her face. The girl looked up and saw her reflection. It was the image of herself when she was fighting in Brightmoon, the one she saw in Adora’s deceased pupils. A beat body, ripped clothes, blood on her skin. She didn’t need to be reminded who’s blood stained her. 

“Do you blame yourself?” The reflection of her asked. 

Catra blinked at the mirror, “Wh-what…?”

The awful reflection of her gave Catra a sickening smile, “Stop lying to yourself. You know what you did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the brunette snapped.

“I guess I’ll just show you,” the reflection said darkly. 

Gritting her teeth, Catra raised her fist and smashed the mirror into pieces. She looked at her normal reflection in the shattered mirror. Her ear twitched and she turned around and saw a figure of Adora standing in front of her. 

“Why did you do it?” Adora asked.

Jumping back, Catra blinked at the girl. This couldn’t be happening could it? She  _ killed _ her! Adora was  _ dead _ ! She’s  _ gone _ ! So why…? Why was she there?, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Catra yelled. This was insane, Catra had gone crazy hasn’t she?

Adora frowned, “Oh but  _ I _ do. Why don’t you take a look?” 

She couldn’t take this anymore, Catra turned around away from the haunting image of Adora and tried to get out of that damn locker room, but blocking her path was a body lying dead on the ground. Adora’s body. 

“W-what…?” Catra whispered, stumbling back away from the body. She fell on the ground and when she looked back up, she saw  _ her _ . The same horrid figure of herself that she saw in the mirror. 

Shutting her eyes, Catra cried, “Stop it! Why are you doing this to me! Why are you torturing me even when you are dead?!” The brunette felt her chin being raised up and she looked at the image of Adora instead of the figure of herself. 

Seeing Adora was  _ much _ worse than seeing herself. 

“You said you loved me,” Adora said in a bitter tone, “You said you always have… so why? Why did you kill me in such a brutal way?” Catra squeezed her eyes close again and placed her hands over her ears so she could not hear. But it didn’t work, she still heard the droning of Adora taunting her in her head, “You said you loved me,” the blonde repeated, “yet, you do not feel guilt in your actions?”

Muttering to herself, Catra shook her head, “This is all a dream… this is  _ all _ a dream!”

Catra heard Adora laugh wickedly at her, “How pathetic, wake up. This is not a dream. But reality. And  _ you _ did this to yourself! You killed me with your own hands!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Catra yelled, “I- I really did love you! I really did…” she whispered, “It was an accident! It was just an accident!” She cried to herself and heard footsteps approach her. 

The girl looked up and saw Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio coming back to the locker rooms after training. Catra turned her head around the locker room, the figure of Adora or the reflection of herself wasn’t there anymore. Was it just all in her imagination? 

“C-Catra?” Kyle stuttered, “Are you okay? We… heard you crying.”

The magicat stood up quickly and wiped her tears. How embarrassing, she couldn’t believe they saw her crying, “I’m fine, just get out of my way,” she muttered under her breath as she pushed the three away and walked back to her room. The image of herself and Adora lingered at the back of her mind like a nightmare. 

  
  
  


Looking at the floor of her room, Catra grit her teeth and punched the wall angrily, tears forming in her eyes. “Fuck!” She kicked her chair and flipped her desk on the cold ground, “How could I…?” Not wanting to face her emotions, the girl just continued to trash her room, making a mess everywhere, destroying everything in her way.

Afterall, doing all of that was less painful than confronting her feelings. 

Unluckily for her, the emotions of her loss and guilt were way too big. The girl fell down on her knees and sobbed loudly, sitting in the child’s pose position. “ _ Why _ did I do that?  _ How _ could I do that?  _ What _ was I thinking? If only I… if only I just stopped,” she sniffled, “No… if only I just joined the Rebellion with her back when we were at that temple.”

Covering her face with her hands, Catra grit her teeth, “ _ No _ . If only I just joined the Rebellion from the beginning with Adora!” She continued to sob, “Why was I so betrayed that she was leaving the Horde? Our home? I was too ignorant to understand that this shithole isn’t my home!” 

She thought of Adora and her tender smile and cried harder, “Why didn’t I understand that  _ she  _ was my home…?” Catra thought of the memory of her and Adora when they were kids, “We promised each other we would look out for each other. I blamed you for leaving, but now I…” she grit her teeth, “ _ Everything _ is my fault…”

The girl slowly started to stand up and she wiped her tears, “I want to go back home…”

  
  
  


It’s been a couple of days since the Horde’s victory at the Battle of Brightmoon. Entrapta’s theory was right, the Rebellion was in shankles, all of the princesses were too busy guarding their own runestones to care about anything else. They were  _ winning _ .

But was it really worth it? 

Catra sulked through the corridors of the Horde as she dragged her claws on the walls. It made a chilling sound that ran up her neck. Her ear twitched and suddenly she stopped and turned around. The brunette’s eyes widened in surprise when she saw a figure of herself from the Battle of Brightmoon, the same some she saw in the locker room before. All beaten up, messy hair, battered clothes, blood all over.

Shaking in fear, Catra shut her eyes and put her hands over her ears, “No… stop it! Go away…” She opened her eyes and the figure was still there, head slightly tilted down and looking at Catra through her eyebrows.

She gulped and decided to just turn around and ignore the eerie figure. 

  
  
  


Days passed and Catra had fallen in the deep end. She was tired,  _ so _ tired. She no longer participated in war meetings with Hordak and Entrapta, all she did was linger around the Fright Zone, trying to avoid people. Though, everywhere she went, the mysterious figure of herself would follow, which made her awfully paranoid. 

The girl walked into the locker room and stared at the broken mirror, she looked behind her and saw the figure of herself just standing there ominously. She stared at the figure and drew her claws with determination, “I’m ending this.”

On cue, the figure ran out of the door but Catra wasn’t going to let her go so easily. There was no way she was going to keep with her tail tucked between her legs! 

Catra saw the figure turn the corner and she used all of her strength and jumped on it, “Gotcha!” She raised her claws and got ready to strike.

“W-wait!” A voice cried out.

The brunette blinked and instead of striking the figure that was haunting her for the past days, she was on top of an innocent Horde soldier that was looking at her in fear. Catra turned her head around the room and there were other Horde soldiers looking at them, whispering. Her ear twitched as she listened to what the others were talking about her.

“Man…” one of the soldiers said, “I heard rumors that Force Captain Catra became crazy after the Battle of Brightmoon, but I didn’t know it was actually true.”

Catra got off of the soldier that she was on top of and growled at the others who were talking dirt behind her, “What are you doing here?! Get back to work or I’ll report you to Hordak!” She watched as the soldiers dispersed and she looked down at her shaking hands, “Have I really gone insane…?”

  
  
  


The door opened and Scorpia walked over to Catra who was huddled on her bed. “Catra?” Scorpia said, reaching a hand towards her friend.

The girl lurched forward and drew her claws when Scorpia touched her. Catra took a deep breath, “Oh… it’s just you. I thought it was  _ her _ .” 

“Her?” Scorpia repeated, sitting on the edge of Catra’s bed. Cautiously, Catra looked around her room and Scorpia noticed how tired Catra looked. The girl had dark circles under her red bloodshot eyes, her hair looked thinner than usual. Scorpia looked down on the bed and saw some fallen strands of Catra’s hair. “Hey Wildcat… are you okay? You look…” turning around, Catra’s tired mismatched eyes met Scorpia’s, “Stressed,” Scorpia whispered.

Groaning, Catra rubbed her eyes, “Yeah, I haven’t slept in days. I’ve been on a look out for  _ her _ .”

Scorpia raised an eyebrow, “Catra that’s not healthy. Plus who even is ‘her?’ I don’t see anyone.” 

“She only comes out when I’m alone, but for some reason, I haven’t been seeing her a lot…” Catra grit her teeth, “The next time I see her I’m going to fucking slaughter her.” 

Looking at Catra’s anxious face, Scorpia sighed, “How about this, I’ll look for her, whoever she is, and you should get some rest.”

The brunette growled, “No! I have to find her myself! Why are you even here anyways? You’re just bothering me! Now get out so she can come and I can kill her!” 

Scorpia grimaced and hesitantly spoked, “I’m here because I’m worried for you. Because I’m your  _ friend _ .”

Catra scoffed and growled, “I said get the fuck out of here!” 

Wincing at the tone of Catra’s voice, Scorpia walked out of the door, she looked back one last time and saw Catra’s apprehensive face, her eyes wandering around the room. 

Minutes passed since Scorpia had left, and there was still no sign of the figure that Catra was looking for. She scoffed, “Where are you…?” An idea popped in her head, “The locker room… whenever I’m there,  _ she _ appears!” The girl jumped out of her bed and sprinted towards the locker rooms. 

Barging through the doors, Catra snuck around the room, “I know you’re here,” she mumbled, taking her claws out, “Show yourself!” Her tail flickered and she turned around to see the sinister figure of herself standing right there. “Gotcha…” she snickered and ran towards the figure who didn’t even try to evade the attack. Catra felt her claws sink into the figure, “So you were real…” She breathed out a laugh, “So I wasn’t crazy!”

Warm blood dripped down Catra’s claws and a wave of satisfaction hit her when she realized that she had finally killed the menace. The girl cackled, “Finally… you’re gone,” she said, slowly raising her head, “You deserved it anyways! You deserved it-” Her eyes widened when she saw what she just did. 

The girl stepped back and fell when she saw that she had attacked Adora instead of the figure of herself, “A-Adora…?”

Adora put her hand over the wound and glared at Catra, “You did it again… You  _ hurt _ me.”

“N-no! I didn’t mean to!” Catra yelled, “I thought you were… I didn’t know it was you!” 

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, “ _ Excuses _ ,” she spat, “You always have some sort of excuse don’t you Catra?” She kneeled down to see eye to eye with Catra, who had tears poking out of her eyes, “Even back when we were in the Horde. You always had some sort of excuse when you got in trouble. Even when you were destroying Etheria, you made an excuse to say that because  _ I _ left, you did all of those horrible things to get me back. I gave you plenty of chances for you to join me and the Rebellion, but you  _ always _ had excuses didn’t you?” 

Wiping the tears out of her sight, Catra stuttered, “ _ N-no… _ ”

“You took it too far Catra,” Adora sneered, “All of this is happening because of  _ you _ ,” Catra squeezed her eyes and put her hands over her ears in fear, “Let’s be real. I’m everything you always wanted to be. Let’s deal with the issue, you wish you were me,” Catra slowly opened her eyes and looked at Adora who was still ranting on, “You’re nothing without me! Without me you’re nothing all! So, now that I’m gone… you’re  _ nothing _ !” 

Catra stood up and glared at Adora, “You’re not completely wrong. You’re right, I’m  _ nothing _ , I’m a  _ nobody _ . Everything would have been just fine if I  _ didn’t _ even exist! You would still be alive and out there saving the world.”

Adora crossed her arms, “At least you are aware.”

The brunette glared at her, “Remember, I said you’re not completely wrong. You’re still in the wrong,” she laughed, “You weren’t everything I wanted to be. You  _ were _ everything to me,” The blonde blinked in surprise, “However, you’re  _ not _ her, so I don’t know why I’m telling this to you!” The figure stood in silence as she listened to Catra, “You’re  _ not _ Adora! Adora is stupid, caring, kind. She would never say anything like that to me! You’re  _ nothing _ like her! Who are you?!” 

The figure smirked, “I’m  _ you _ .” Catra’s eyes grew wide, “All of this, this is your guilt. This is your way of coping now that Adora is gone,” Adora crossed her arms, “You’re doing it to yourself Catra.”

Shaking, Catra bit her lip and narrowed her eyes as she thought. Then she started to laugh hysterically, “Well… then if you’re not really her, I wouldn’t feel too bad for doing this,” she sharpened her claws and swiped around the image of Adora, causing it to fade away. 

Kneeling down on the floor, Catra proceeded to sob quietly, “So… she’s really gone…”

  
  
  


_ “Catra!” A young Adora yelled.  _

_ The little brunette girl turned around and smirked, “Come on Adora! I found this really cool spot up on the rooftops. I think you’ll like it!”  _

_ Adora ran up and held Catra’s hand and they climbed up to the rooftops, “Are you sure we’re allowed to be up here?” Adora said cautiously, “What if we get in trouble? Shadow Weaver would get really mad at us and I don’t want you to get in trouble again.” _

_ “Don’t be such a wuss Adora,” Catra said, helping Adora up the ladder, “I don’t care about Shadow Weaver, plus look how cool this place is! You can almost see the entire Fright Zone!” Catra grinned as she sat at the edge of the roof.  _

_ Running up besides her, Adora tugged on Catra’s arm, “Careful! What if you fall? You’ll probably like die! It’s so high up here, you gotta be a bit more careful.”  _

_ Shrugging, Catra kept her legs dangling at the edge and patted the spot next to her, “Just sit down and relax for once.” _

_ Reluctantly, the blonde sat next to her friend and awed at the sight, “You’re right… this is actually pretty nice.” _

_ “Of course I’m right!” Catra said, puffing up her chest, “I’m always right!” The girl heard Adora snort besides her and she smiled softly at the girl as she stood up. “One day, after we finish our training, we’re going to be out of the Fright Zone and ruling Etheria together,” she grinned down at Adora, “Sounds like a good plan or what?”  _

_ Standing up with Catra, Adora nodded, “That sounds like a great plan! I’m happy as long as we stick together y’know that right?” Catra rolled her eyes at how sappy Adora was, but the blonde just huffed, “You do remember our promise right?” _

_ Catra laughed, “Of course I remember! I look out for you and you look out for me. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other!” She nudged Adora’s arm, “See? I remember!” _

_ Giving Catra a noogie, Adora laughed, “We stick together no matter what okay?” _

_ “No matter what,” Catra echoed. _

  
  
  


Sitting on the rooftops, Catra looked over at the horizon of the Fright Zone, “Hey Adora…” she said softly, “I don’t know if you can hear me but…” she laughed, “well… whatever,” she hugged her knees and took a deep breath, “Remember? We always came up here? We talked about ruling the world together?” 

“It’s funny,” Catra muttered, “The last time we came up here… you left because of some dumb sword you found in the Whispering Woods,” she sighed, “I remember when I first dragged you up here, you were scared shitless that we were going to get in trouble by Shadow Weaver,” she laughed, “But of course we didn’t, because I’m pretty great,” she stood up and stared down below her. 

She remembered what Adora said all those years ago, “If I fall I’ll die huh…?” 

  
  
  


Catra looked down at her hands. Though it’s been weeks since the Battle of Brightmoon and Adora’s death, she could still feel Adora’s warm blood on it. The brunette clutched her hand and sighed to herself, “I know you’re gone. I know you’re never going to be coming back. I miss you…” Catra closed her eyes, “I miss you so fucking much. Even though we were enemies before, at least I knew you were alive and now… you're really gone.” 

“There’s no going back,” she whispered, “I can’t go back and redo my mistakes. I fucked up… I fucked everything up. You’re never going to be coming back and things are never going to be the same anymore.” 

The brunette closed her eyes and pictured Adora’s benevolent smile, “So that’s why… I’m ending this, for good.”

  
  
  


Standing on top of the rooftops, Catra breathed in the fresh air and exhaled. “The view never gets old…” She smiled to herself, “You always liked it didn’t you Adora?” Catra turned her back on the edge and closed her eyes. Stretched out her arms, Catra leaned back and let herself fall.

The girl opened her eyes and looked at Ethera’s pastel blue sky.  _ Wow… _ Catra thought,  _ Who knew dying could be so peaceful? Adora… did you feel this way too when you passed?  _ The girl sourly smiled to herself, when she remembered Adora’s beaten face and how she writhed in pain on the battlefield,  _ Probably not… you looked like you were in a lot of pain. I hope you will forgive me for that when I see you again.  _

_ This world was cruel,  _ she thought as she remembered all of the hardships and trials she faced as a child up until now.  _ However… it was also very beautiful.  _ Catra remembered her fond memories with her first love, Adora. She smiled to herself,  _ It wasn’t the best life, but I’m glad I was able to experience it with you. _

Flashes of Adora came into Catra’s mind. Adora with her toothy grin, Adora sleeping on the bed with her, how they would whisper at night during sleepovers. Her mind filtered through the memories and treasured them. Suddenly, somewhere deep within, a realization hit Catra. 

Her eyes grew in bewilderment, “She wouldn’t want me to do this!” Catra started to panic in midair, “I can’t die! I  _ can’t _ ! Once I’m dead, I won’t be able to remember you. So I’ll have to win and live, no matter what! I have to-” 

She gave up, it was too late for her. Whether she liked it or not she was going to die, she was going to see Adora again. She was going  _ home _ . All she had to do was embrace it.

Catra closed her eyes and let out one final breath. 

Then, Catra felt Death touch her shoulder. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> well... i told you guys this oneshot would hurt. anyways yeah fun fact, i had this idea of this oneshot for like half the year and i attempted to write it two times but gave up because i didnt know how to execute it BUT HEY THIRD TIMES A CHARM AMIRIGHT? yeah this was one of my DARKER works fun fact, it's inspired by some tiktok sounds (lol ikr) and the part where catra sees the figure of herself at the battle of bright moon is inspired by the legend of korra! anyways yeah i just really wanted to hurt you guys because lol it's fun! my friend called me a sadist for making this but whatever LOL! 
> 
> i'm so sorry btw i'll pay for everyone's therapy after this.
> 
> anyways! i hope you guys enjoyed this oneshot, even though it hurt and feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions done in the comment section and i hope everyone has a good morning/afternoon/evening!
> 
> i'll be coming out with my first lumity fic next week to heal the pain from this oneshot!


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